💔 ADHD & Relationships: Part 1: The Self-Trust Crisis and the Value-Action Gap
If you have ADHD, you are likely living in the Value-Action Gap: the frustrating distance between the life you want to lead (your values) and the actions you actually take.
You know you value health, so you intend to exercise. But when the time comes, an invisible wall of executive function friction stops you. The task is avoided, and the internal criticism begins: "I knew I couldn't trust myself. I am unreliable."
This is not a failure of willpower; it is a breakdown of self-trust fueled by a blindness to valid Executive Functioning (EF) barriers.
At Brilla Counseling Services, we don't treat this with generic tips. We use a specialized approach rooted in ACT to:
Name the Barrier: Shift the struggle from a character flaw to a manageable neurological friction.
Define Micro-Actions: Create tiny, achievable, values-aligned actions that re-establish self-trust through consistent, undeniable success.
Ready to stop breaking promises to yourself? Read the full post on how to close the Value-Action Gap and build self-trust again.
— Brilla Counseling Services, Sacramento & Online CA
🚀 Done With Neurotypical Advice? Your Personalized Path to Sustainable ADHD Strategies
Moving Beyond Generic Tips
Are you done trying to fit your unique ADHD brain into neurotypical calendars and generic productivity hacks? You are not broken—the system is!
At Brilla Counseling Services, we know that lasting success comes from true collaborative problem-solving that starts with you. We move beyond simple tips to build strategies that stick by diving deep into:
Uncovering What Has Worked: Analyzing your past successes and developed skills (even if they need small edits).
Unique Executive Function Profile: Defining the exact nuances of your planning, initiation, and working memory.
Lived History Roadblocks: Mapping how internalized messaging and self-talk paralyze action.
Values & Interests: Anchoring every strategy to your core values and natural interests for sustainable motivation.
You don't need to try harder; you need to strategize smarter. We partner with you to define small, incremental actions that leverage what makes you, you, helping you get unstuck for good.
Ready to partner with your brain? Contact Brilla Counseling today to start building strategies that stick.
🏆 Fighting your thoughts with CBT doesn’t work for Women with ADHD
🥊 Excerpt: The CBT Trap
For the adult woman with ADHD, years of struggling with executive function deficits are often met with self-criticism and internal hyperactivity. When engaging in traditional CBT, the process of "fighting the thought" inadvertently gives it immense power.
The effort to refute the thought locks the woman into an internal tug-of-war . By engaging in the fight, the critical thought becomes the single most important thing in the room, consuming valuable executive function energy that could have been spent on the task itself.
The result? She is paralyzed, believing that the task is impossible until the critical voice is completely defeated—a fight the ADHD brain can rarely win.
🔑 The ACT Realization
This is why Brilla Counseling leads with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT teaches a crucial skill: Cognitive Defusion—seeing thoughts as mere words, not commands.
The realization is transformative:
"I can take action even when my thoughts are telling me I can't. If I can get unhooked from the need to feel 100% capable, I can move forward."
We help you take small, values-aligned steps while the critical thought is still present, proving it is just noise, not a barrier. Stop fighting your brain. Start building the life you value.
— Brilla Counseling Services, Sacramento & Online CA